HONESTY WITH YOURSELF
I’ve recently become aware of how often we lie to ourselves about the most basic things. We lie to ourselves about what we actually want out of life, relationships, careers, etc. And what makes no sense is that we know it only works against us, our overall happiness and satisfaction in life but yet we do it all the time. It brings me back to the idea of living subconsciously.
Being honest with ourselves can enhance our lives, and allow us to live a life where we’re more accepting of things as they present themselves. Take for instance relationships, often times when we are starting out in relationships, we don’t always ask ourselves what we really want and how we envision our lives in a romantic relationship setting. I don’t know why we just expect things to unfold and work out as we expect them to, without communicating with ourselves and the other party. I was thinking about how it would be if we just had honest conversations with each other where we ask ourselves, for example, “do I genuinely want and desire a monogamous relationship?” some times we assume that’s what the other person might want, and out of the desire to have that person, or be with that person, we convince ourselves that we want the same thing. But in reality maybe we don’t. You can see how that is already going against what you actually want (I’m not saying sometimes wants don’t change, because they do and in that case, it works out and there’s not much of an inner conflict), and could result in more dishonesty down the road. Sometimes when we’re actually honest with ourselves and say, “Look, I’ve actually been feeling this and this, I don’t really know where I stand with monogamy (or whatever it may be, let’s say, marriage, or the idea of living together, etc)” we’re living in accordance with our inner being and leave space for discovery. Lying to yourself for selfish reasons or for fear of being looked at sideways, being judged or ridiculed only takes away and does not add on.
Being able to be this honest with yourselves and loved ones also requires some sense of self actualization and it also helps when the people you’re in conversation with have some sense of open mindedness. It’s hard to do such things when the environment doesn’t allow you to. All in all, food for thought — let’s look within, learn our beings and be honest with ourselves so we don’t continue to hurt ourselves and those that we care about. We don’t have to do things because that’s how they’ve ‘always’ been done. If that is your top reason, then that cue that you need to dig deeper within yourself. Things don’t have to be as they’ve always been, if it doesn’t speak to you, there’s a reason why and it must be explored. Otherwise we’re just always going to be puppets doing things because we were told that that’s how it is and it can’t be questioned (it’s questionable to me why certain things can’t be questioned). We should give ourselves a chance at true connections with our beings as well as those around us. True connections are built on honesty, both within oneself and with everyone involved and they allow all parties to grow in their purpose.
